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A Bit of Optimism

A Bit of Optimism

The Dating Advice Making Us Worse at Love with Relationship Expert Amy Chan

Sep 15, 2026 · 50m

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About this episode

The internet is flooded with advice for dating in the smartphone age: know your type, trust the spark, watch for red flags, protect your peace, never settle. It sounds like self-respect, but relationship expert Amy Chan thinks it’s a big reason dating feels impossible right now. Her argument: we need to correct the lessons we’ve learned when it comes to dating. The person who’s great on a first date isn’t necessarily great at a relationship. Instant chemistry isn’t always a good sign. A red flag could just be an imperfection. And keeping our options open has made a lot of us genuinely bad at choosing someone. Amy is the founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp and the author of Unsingle: How to…